What You Can (and Can’t) Post Online During a Divorce

When emotions are running high, it’s natural to want to vent or share your story with friends and family. These days, that often means turning to social media. But during a divorce, what you say online can come back to affect your case in serious ways. 

At Ward Family Law Group, we’ve seen firsthand how online activity has impacted our clients under North Carolina divorce law. Thoughtless posts, screenshots, and messages can become evidence that alters custody, support, and property outcomes.

That’s why we urge people going through a separation or divorce to think carefully before sharing anything publicly. We’ve worked with individuals who had no idea their casual Instagram story, angry Facebook status, or sarcastic tweet would become part of their divorce proceedings. 

Once something is posted, it may be seen by your spouse’s attorney, used in court, or submitted in a motion.

Social media and divorce law intersect more than most people realize. While your online activity might seem personal, it’s often far from private in the eyes of the law. As attorneys practicing family and divorce law in North Carolina, we want to help you avoid mistakes that can make a difficult time even harder.

The Public Nature of Private Posts

Many people assume that if their social media account is set to “private,” then their content is safe. In reality, content shared online is almost never truly private. Even if you’ve blocked your spouse, mutual friends can screenshot or forward posts. 

In discovery, the court may compel you to produce your own digital communications. Divorce law in North Carolina allows for social media content to be introduced as evidence if it’s relevant and legally obtained.

We often advise our clients to think about how a judge might interpret their words or photos. What seems harmless can take on a different meaning when viewed in court. 

For example, a post about taking a spontaneous weekend trip might raise questions about spending habits or priorities during a custody dispute. Photos with a new partner can stir tensions and create problems in equitable distribution discussions.

The emotional drive to share your side of the story online can lead to impulsive decisions that end up hurting your case. That’s why we always counsel clients to consider silence as a strategy. If you wouldn’t say something in court, it’s better not to post it.

Custody Considerations and Your Online Activity

Child custody cases can be particularly sensitive. Judges weigh many factors when deciding custody, including the character, behavior, and judgment of both parents. Under North Carolina divorce law, anything that reflects poorly on your ability to care for your child can be taken into account. That includes online behavior.

We’ve represented clients whose posts about nightlife, dating, or alcohol use were presented in custody hearings. Even if your children aren’t directly mentioned, posts that create the appearance of poor judgment can tip the scale against you. Divorce law isn’t just about legality—it’s about perception.

If a parent is seen criticizing the other on social media or sharing details of the custody case, it could suggest a lack of cooperation. Judges generally favor parents who support healthy relationships between the children and the other parent. 

When one person uses social media to air grievances or create conflict, it may affect how the court views their parenting approach.

This is one area where we consistently see digital behavior influence legal outcomes. If you’re in a custody battle, your best strategy is to avoid posting about your children, your spouse, or your legal case.

Finances and Online Posts

Financial transparency is critical in divorce. North Carolina divorce law requires full disclosure of income, assets, debts, and expenses. Social media posts that contradict financial statements can create real problems.

We’ve handled cases where a spouse claimed financial hardship in court but posted photos of luxury purchases or exotic vacations online. That kind of content casts doubt on credibility and can influence alimony or property division rulings.

Sometimes even lighthearted jokes can be misinterpreted. If you post about receiving a raise, bonus, or new job but fail to disclose that income in court, your spouse’s attorney may use your own words against you. 

Divorce law gives judges leeway to assess whether a person is being truthful and forthcoming. Online posts, even old ones, can raise questions that need to be answered.

At Ward Family Law Group, we regularly remind our clients that digital footprints can reveal more than intended. If your lifestyle online doesn’t match your declarations in court, that discrepancy could affect your case.

Communication and Emotional Impact

Divorce is personal. It’s emotional. And people often use social media as a form of release. But venting about your ex online or making vague, angry posts can be damaging—legally and personally.

We’ve worked with clients who thought they were just blowing off steam but found their posts quoted in legal motions. North Carolina divorce law allows for statements made outside of court to be introduced under certain circumstances. Angry rants, accusations, or even passive-aggressive memes can add fuel to a legal fire.

Beyond the courtroom, your posts can escalate conflict between you and your spouse. They may respond in kind, leading to a toxic back-and-forth that spills into mediation or court. Divorce law may provide protections and procedures, but it doesn’t erase hurt feelings or suspicion stirred up by online arguments.

When a marriage is ending, emotions run high. But maturity and restraint can go a long way in protecting your future. We encourage our clients to avoid posting anything emotionally charged or accusatory. Keep conversations about your divorce private and offline.

New Relationships and Social Media

New relationships during a pending divorce often create tension. Posting about a new partner, even casually, can lead to accusations of infidelity or cause emotional reactions that disrupt settlement talks.

North Carolina is one of the few states where marital misconduct can affect spousal support. Even after separation, introducing a new partner into your social life can create questions under divorce law. If your spouse claims alienation of affection or criminal conversation, your posts might be used as evidence in that civil claim.

It’s natural to want to move forward. But until the divorce is final, you should be cautious about what you share regarding your personal life. 

If you’re starting a new relationship, we often suggest waiting until everything is finalized before posting about it. Avoid photos, check-ins, or references that may suggest more than you’re willing to explain in court.

Deleting Posts and Privacy Settings

Once you realize that social media can affect your divorce, the instinct may be to delete questionable content. That’s a mistake. Destroying or deleting potential evidence during a legal case can create legal problems of its own.

Under divorce law in North Carolina, parties are expected to preserve relevant information once litigation begins. If you start deleting posts or messages, it could be viewed as spoliation of evidence. That might hurt your case more than the posts themselves.

What we suggest instead is to stop posting immediately and speak with your attorney. 

You can review past content together and decide on the right strategy. Adjusting your privacy settings may limit new viewers, but it won’t make old posts disappear. If the content is already out there, treat it carefully and let your legal counsel decide how to handle it.

How to Approach Social Media During Divorce

Our advice to clients is always the same: treat your divorce as a legal matter, not a public one. Anything you say can be used against you, especially when it’s been shared online. The fewer posts you make, the fewer questions you’ll have to answer.

We understand that people want support during difficult times. But sharing frustrations, victories, or updates about your divorce online rarely helps. Divorce law is about facts, legal rights, and outcomes—not about who made the best point on Facebook.

If you need to vent, do it in a safe place: a private conversation with a friend, a therapist, or your lawyer. Keeping your digital life quiet during a divorce might not be easy, but it’s one of the smartest legal choices you can make.

Final Thoughts from Ward Family Law Group

At Ward Family Law Group, we help clients protect themselves legally and emotionally during divorce. We’re proud to serve Cary, North Carolina, and the surrounding areas of Wake County, Durham County, Chatham County, Orange County, Johnston County, and Franklin County. Call today.